How Do You Handle Failure?

HELLO everyone, thank you for visiting my blog today.  My name is Linda Frame and I am here everyday with:    DAILY ADVERSITY SUPPORT 

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I’m here to talk about the challenges, the hurdles, those ‘nothing goes right days and the set backs that jump in your way unexpectedly.  You may even feel like that ‘black cloud’ hanging over your head seems to have your name on it.  

If a particular topic of the day here doesn’t suit you or doesn’t speak to you, that’s fine, maybe tomorrows topic will seem more interesting to your issues in your life.  Why, because I have been through a lifetime of rock bottom challenges, and I want to share how you can crawl back up successfully.

Today, I’d like to talk about those failures, set backs, the feeling of disgrace at something you’ve been working so hard at only to lose.

Anyone who really knows me, can agree that I love golf.  I love being out there, playing every hole, the smells of being outside, the sounds of the birds, and the challenge of playing.  Of course I’m not on the LPGA, I’m not a zero handicap, I’m not even on the ‘wanna be” tour.  I just love to play golf and challenge myself.

In fact, I love golf as much as a dear friend of mine in New Zealand’s husband loves tennis!  Of course he’s a better tennis player than I am at playing golf, but we’re both happy at our love of our individual sport.

Now, as in life, business, relationships and sports, etc., there are losses.  Not everyone can win while in competition, but the best winners are those with the superior skills, character and maturity, among others qualities.

Where I’m going with this is, yesterday I watched an LPGA (Ladies Professional Golf Association) Tournament.  It was a Major Tournament and the women’s equal to the men’s PGA (Men’s Professional Golf Association) Masters Tournament.  Okay, I hear you why am I talking about this?  Keep reading.

Competition, whether between one individual or hundreds of others, is only going to have one that succeeds as the ‘winner’.  Whether it’s an organized sporting event or a competative debate, the circumstances are the same, only one person or team will prevail as the winner.

Winning is something we begin learning as a child: “I’ll race you to the tree”, I can eat more hotdogs than you”, what ever the situation, it works the same. 

In business, staff members try to out-do someone else to complete the task better than someone else, to impress their boss and align themselves for more points or promotion.

Regardless of the competition, winning and losing both have something in common that will forever be debated, how the win or loss is handled by that particular person.  People will always have an opinion of how well or poor that individual(s) handle the win or loss.

While watching this LPGA – Golf Major Tournament yesterday, I couldn’t help thinking about how very similar the pressure, stress, desperation, and the will to win / succeed is exactly like everything all of us handle in our daily challenges in life.

However, the impression we make on others, the observations, the visible body languages, speak volumes louder than the words we speak about the actual task or situation at hand.  What do I mean?

Today, the result and feedback about “who” won that LPGA – Golf Tournament I watched, were completely over-shadowed by the “impression” that was made to thousands of viewers and the media, by the loser’s “body language”.

 word about the loss or the activities during the  3 hole “playoffs”,  nor did she ‘say’ a single negative word about the competitor that beat her, during the post tournament interview. 

The viewers however, “perceived” her quiet, kept to herself, straight-faced, focused manner, not ‘engaging’ with the fans with high fives on the course during play, and the gathering of herself after the loss, etc., etc., etc., as being negative.

So, what I’m saying here is, it’s not so much about the words you speak that are perceived by others as negative, as the actions that can leave an impression and perception on others around you.

This player who lost, did nothing visually or spoken to warrant the negative reviews, but, how others felt by her neutral focused body language gave the wrong intended message.  Is that right, is that fair, well no, but nothing in life is fair, people are always going to feel they have the ‘right’ to judge you.

Was I happy with the outcome of the tournament?  Yes, I was happy with the skills of the individual that won and impressed with the maturity and class of how she handled the win, by being sensitive and respectful to the emotions / skills of her competing friend. 

Here’s what you should keep in mind about FAILURE  in case you ever have another issue not go your way:

 To fail, is not the same as being a failure.    You may have many failings, and yet still be far from being a failure.

To fail, is not the disgrace everyone thinks it is.      To err is to do nothing more than to be a part of the reality of life.

Failure is only a temporary setback.    Failure is never the final chapter of the book of your life, unless you give up and quit.

Nothing worthwhile is ever achieved without running the risk of failure.    When you risk everything to achieve what you want, is far from being a failure.

Failure is a natural preparation for success.    Honestly, success can be more difficult to maintain, unless you continue to work at it daily to nourish it.

Every failing brings the possibilities of something greater.     You have to work at finding the seeds that will turn your failures into your successful growth. 

What you do with failures in your life is up to you.    Failure can be a blessing or a curse, depending on how your own reaction or response to it.

Failures are opportunities to learn how do to do it better next time by recognizing the pitfalls and how to avoid them.    Learn all you can from it.

No one really “fails”, you’re NOT a failure, you’re NOT a loser, you’re NOT anything but someone who tried to do your best at the time.  In competition, there is always a “winner” and a “loser” at a particular task or achievement.

In life, everyone is a winner and there are no losers,  Anyone who makes an attempt to achieve something is always a winner because you made the effort to try, not give up, and you succeeded because you participated in life.  You’re a winner because showed up and you gave it your best.

Don’t ‘wear’ your negative results in your body language, ‘show’ and ‘posture’ yourself as the winner that you are, not what the scoreboard has labeled you to be.  Be proud of your participation and your attempt and wear it proudly, because in the competition of life,  you’ll always be a winner and successful.

“Take pride in how far you’ve come.  Have faith in how far you can go.”………….. 

 

See you tomorrow

 

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