HOW CAN YOU HELP SOMEONE WHO IS AFRAID?
Everyone is afraid of something.
No, it’s not just children, it’s people of all ages from all over the world, for whatever reason.
Indiana Jones was terrified of snakes! Okay, well at least in the movies.
I know incredible weight builders who are scared to death of spiders.
It can be: afraid of the dark, water, bugs, dogs, horses…….
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WHAT it is, isn’t the issue here. it’s HOW we can help these individuals with their fears.
I want to share with you a few thoughts to help you the next time someone you know is scared of something. Remember, age has nothing to do with it.
These can be used on children, teenagers, adults, women, men (yes, you too guys, I know too many men who are afraid of things themselves).
THINGS TO DO WHEN SOMEONE IS AFRAID OF SOMETHING
(All ages included here)
Just be close
Just having the presence of someone safe, is calming.
Touch them
Holding hands, hugs, rubbing their back & any form of reassuring affection helps.
Speak gently & confidently
Your voice is a point of familiarity & safety, so watch your tone. If you’re not calm yourself, you’ll make it worse for them.
Listen
Let them tell you about their fears, no matter how irrational. Be attentive & patient. Remember, what they say is very important to them.
Choose your words & actions carefully
Never laugh or make fun of someone who is fearful during their fearful time. This experience is traumatic to them. You’re there to help them & not make them feel worse.
Give them something specific to do
Taking action helps them feel like they have some power when overwhelmed.
Give them a positive focus
When they think of something or safe & reassuring, fears don’t seem so big.
Pray with them
Seeking God’s protection or comfort is something we all need. Reminds them God is always close & He always cares.
Give them something familiar
Familiar objects, like a blanket, photograph, necklace, ring, or stuffed animal, help children relax.
Reassure them that there is always a way out
Teach them how to problem solve & figure out what to do. Come up with as many solutions as possible. Reassure them that thaings which seem very frightening now, often don’t seem so bad in a year or two.
Remind them that we ALL have fears
Tell them about what frightened you at their age, or for you now, & how you handled it.
Remind them how brave they are
Tell them about other incidents they have gotten through with their strength.
Being afraid of something is NOT a sign of weakness at all.
It’s simply an object, item, creature or being, you / they may never have learned to properly overcome their fear with.
Helping someone get through their fear is a great “teachable” moment.
The best thing you can do for someone who is fearful besides being with them, is helping them learn how they can face that fear. It may help them again the next time that fear comes up for them.
“Fear, is merely the lack of understanding about the unknown”…..
I hope enjoyed today’s blog & were able to take something away from this subject.. Please leave me your comments below, I would love to hear them. Most importantly, thank you for visiting my post.
See you tomorrow……
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I honestly have been through this myself. I was in a tragic accident last year & lost my job / income, my health & mobility. I was devastated, the bills never stopped coming in & I was drowning in debt. Sound somewhat familiar?
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More wonderful advice … thank you Linda. I think that “listening” is one of the most powerful things you can do when someone feels fear. People just want to be heard don’t they?
Yes Erica, especially when someone is afraid of something. The last they want to hear is what you feel when they have an explosion of fear erupting inside of themselves. To be heard not only lets them get it out, but allows them to hear themselves, hear the reality of their fear & begin to problem solve for themselves too. So let them talk, they need to. Thank you Erica for your insight.
I agree with Erica .. more wonderful advice. I think not laughing at someone and accepting they are afraid is key. My husband it terrifed when he is in the ocean if the surf is up. I am like a fish and i used to not understand. I then learned he almost drowned when he was a very young child. I love your tips on how to be with someone in fear. Thanks Linda.
Yes Sue, laughing at someone who’s afraid is the worst thing you can do to them. I can relate to your husband’s fear; when I was 3 yrs old, I was swimming between our lake front pier & the neighbors pier, when I got my feet/legs tangled up in the long weeds. Even with a life-jacket on, I was pulled under & didn’t come back up. One of my brothers happened to be on our pier & saw it happen, but it took him time to get in the water. He had polio & wore leg braces & had crutches, so getting his pants & braces off took a bit of time. He did get in & obviously saved me although I was still underwater the whole time. Although I’m terrified still of weeds in the water, I’ve been grateful to have a spring fed Lake here, where I lived since that time, & even while water skiing, you can see bottom because it’s so clear. I’m the one where there are no weeds on bottom!
Thank you Sue for sharing & I appreciate your thoughts, as always you are so spot on.