“I Just Don’t Know What To Do for My Grieving Child!” | How to guide a child that is grieving from a loss.

 

 

“I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR MY GRIEVING CHILD!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death & dying is difficult enough for adults to manage & understand, but for children it’s worse.

 

Why? Because going through things they have no understanding of in the first place can alter their life forever.

 

 

 

The death of a relative, parent, friend, or pet can change a child permanently if they aren’t supported correctly from the moment they begin to experience someone’s terminal diagnosis &/or loss of life.

 

 

Handling this sensitive subject should be handled carefully.

 

 

 

Children know more than you think, but they also have vivid imaginations if they don’t have the answers to something confusing.  If you yourself are going through grieving they will be more apt to not ask you any questions because they see you’re upset. 

 

Children also are more apt to blame themselves for someone getting sick or dying.  They’ll feel if they “hadn’t said or done that, they wouldn’t have died”….

 

 

Also, if someone is in the hospital, they tend to view a hospital is a place to die, & will reject any future thoughts of going to the hospital to even “visit” anyone.  If they hear so & so is in the hospital, they will just think they are going to the hospital or are in the hospital to die.

 

 

 

A child’s mind works “by association”.  They think their presence, activity, act may have been the cause of someones or somethings loss of life.

Now, you & I know that’s not the case, but in the child’s mind they are certain of it.

 

Even the loss of a pet, they don’t understand because they see a death as a death & they were or could have been the cause.

 

 

 

So, all of the factors play a roll in a child’s mind & must be taken into consideration.

 

 

Today I’m going to share a few thoughts with you about ways that you can help a child who is grieving.

Again, grieving can be over the loss of a relative, family member, friend or a pet.  These are equally devastating & confusing, but each hurt tremendously.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO GUIDE A CHILD THAT IS GRIEVING FROM A LOSS

 

 

 

 

 

• Make honesty a policy:    Even while  you are grieving, children look to you for hope & encouragement.  When they ask you questions, you need to avoid giving them just a flat general answer.  Admit to them you don’t have all the answers.

 

 

 

• Give them opportunities for creative expression:    When children have difficulty verbalizing their feelings, it may be easier for them to express them on paper.  Drawing is an effective way for a child to gain control over their emotional pain & gradually reduce their pain.         

 

 

 

• Be encouraging to children to continue their normal family routines:    Maintain & provide security by letting children know there are certain constants in their lives & things they can rely on that stay the same.

 

 

 

• Give a child permission to grieve:    It doesn’t matter the loss; a relative, family member, friend, a major move or the loss of a pet.  Your child needs permission to mourn, they need to hear from you that it’s okay to be sad.

 

 

 

• Watch you expectations:    You need to be careful not to overprotect you children.  Lecturing or making decisions FOR them is not helpful while they’re coping with a loss.  Don’t take that power & ability away from them to make decisions.  Lecturing is not what their mind needs at this time when it’s already overloaded with their grieving.

 

 

 

• Allow your children to respond in their own way:    Don’t expect a child to respond as you do.  If they begin to express strong feelings, don’t block them.  Allow them to cry, express anger, or even bitterness.

 

 

 

• Create opportunities for play:    Periodically your child needs to be encouraged to take a break from their grief to play with their friends.  For a child to play, it helps them regain a feeling of safety & security.

 

 

 

• Be sure to be available when your child is ready to grieve:    By being available may be the most important element in helping your child grieve.  Remember, they need affection & a sense of security.

 

 

 

• Be sure to remember how important pet grieving is:    Grieving over a pet is extremely important.  Never call a pet “just a dog, just a turtle, just a___.”  These companions were their best friends, their buddy, their sleep mate, their brother/sister, their family.  Do not minimize the importance of a pet that means the world to you child.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You have a responsibility to guide you child, your relative, a child to understand, cope & handle grieving.

 

Never look as a child as one who isn’t part of the grieving process.  They have a disadvantage of understanding & don’t have the facts as you & I do.

 

 

Be there for them as you would for your own mate.  Guiding a child through the grieving process is a teachable moment for both of you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional”…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See you tomorrow…

 

 

I do hope you have enjoyed this message today & it has inspired you do stand up & make a difference in your own life.  Please feel free to leave me a comment below to share how this has made you think about your own situation.

 

 

BY THE WAY: Are you having challenges or struggling with things in you life, lost your job, out of money, recovery from injuries with bills coming in overwhelming you, grieving, down or depressed?  I know what you’re going through, I’ve been there, it hurts, its terrifying & you have no clue where to turn.

I honestly have been through this myself.  I was in a tragic accident last year & lost my job / income, my health & mobility.  I was devastated, the bills never stopped coming in & I was drowning in debt.  Sound somewhat familiar?

Let me share with you what I did that literally saved my life.  I’ve been able to completely turn my l life around, get back up, become more successful than ever before & financially free.   CLICK HERE   for & pay close attention to this

 

For those of you who have been requesting privacy regarding questions & further issues, you may email me a:  birdiegolf430@gmail.com