“I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY JUST SAID THAT TO ME!”
For some, it’s not just ‘water under the bridge’, because it can be hurtful & uncomfortable to take
No one likes to be corrected or criticized, even when you need it.
If the other person handles it improperly, it can also be very humiliating.
Now, there are many different levels of criticism & correcting isn’t there.
There’s that person whose not even a friend of yours, but thinks they have all the answers & just have to publicly correct everything you do!
There’s the family member who says they’re just looking out for you, but can’t resist putting a negative spin on everything you do!
Then there’s the boss who only speaks when it’s correcting & criticizing something you just spent your heart & soul putting together for them because they ‘didn’t know how to do it’!
Regardless of the situation you may have experience being criticized or corrected, here are some thoughts of how to handle criticism.
Especially, when it feels like a big storm is on about to hit!
![supercell-139398__180[1]](/HowILearnedtoGetBackUp/images/28293/supercell-139398__1801.jpg)
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How to handle being corrected &/or criticized
Keep your mouth shut:
Do not say anything while they are talking, unless it’s to answer a question & then only keep it short & factual.
Listen:
Do not begin planning your defense while they are still talking. Take a deep breath, stay calm & control your emotions until they are finished.
Avoid body language:
Do not roll your eyes, fold your arms, shake your head, give negative body responses of any kind. Your body language tells more about you & your reaction than your words do.
Avoid reactions:
No matter how harsh or unjustified a person may come across, control your emotions! If you get angry it will only escalate the situation & cause further turmoil. Your opinion of their behavior, correction or criticism is not what the subject of the discussion is.
Do NOT respond immediately:
Just say you will consider what has been said & that you will get back to them in a day or two. Then follow through.
Respect the criticism:
Even if you have no respect for the person or if the criticism seems unfair, there just may be some truth to it. Look at criticism as an opportunity to become a better person, better worker, better friend or even a better family member. It also gives you an opportunity to control your reactions under pressure.
Be very honest with yourself:
Consider what was said, focus on the truth & make a plan to change what you can.
Forgive:
If they were abrasive in their approach, forgive them & don’t hold it against them in the future. If they happened to be one of those that just has to be right & better all the time, them, just avoid them. It’s not worth your energy.
Have a good attitude:
Even if you feel the criticism was undeserved or too severe, thank the person for communicating their thoughts to you. Remember, every situation if life will make you either bitter or better, it’s your choice. Take with class & move on!
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How you handle in situation both verbally & non-verbally says everything about you.
If you handle the negative with class the same as you do the positive, your character & personality will be know & respected.
Think clearly before you react or respond, you have only one moment to show who you really are…
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“It is well for one to know more than he says” – Titus Maccius Plautus
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I do hope you have enjoyed this message today it has inspired you do stand up & make a difference in your own life. Please feel free to leave me a comment below to share how this has made you think about your own situation
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Taking criticism is one of the most awkward human interactions I can think of, and most people, either giving or getting, will mess it up and cause a problem. Your list of ways to handle the situation is invaluable. 🙂
Oh my you’ve given me a lot to chew on with this one … I’m a big eye-roller if I’m being criticized by family. And I cross my arms and my body language becomes very defensive. And I know I’m doing it. I’ll try and remember your words next time the chastising starts 🙂
I have no poker face — and by that I mean, everything I am thinking is written all over my face, so it can be very difficult for me when someone criticizes and I don’t agree. I’ve always been like that, but I’ve been working on it and I like to think I’m getting better at handling it. Definitely some food for thought in this post.
Well that saves a lot of explanation then doesn’t it! There’s nothing wrong with not having a poker face, I’d rather have someone be real with me right then & there, than have someone give me a false reaction. Thank you for sharing Diana.
I think, a it has to do with the way it is said, Our own defences, and instead of being defensive we need to ask ourselves, ‘is there some truth in what they say’..but I also think we need to do the CFC method as in Toastmoaster, which is Basically Praise, Critique Praise 🙂