“WHY CAN’T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT!”
A song or music, can come across so differently just by the way it’s played, produced or arranged.
Your message can also come across so differently just by the of your voice, your tone, the way you enunciate, how you project it, your body language, or all of these combined.
Good communication is like music, composed well, arranged it the proper style, & verbalized in the appropriate tone.
However, we’ve all days days when we hit the wrong notes & wind up sharp or flat.
Is it bad luck or self inflicted?
This is what you have to determine: bad luck or “self inflicted”.
All the best intentions in the world won’t help, if you’re coming across wrong.
In other words, you mean to say X, when you come across as Y.
So, how do we catch that misinterpretation or that wrong song, before it happens?
You start before your message, thoughts or words come out of your mouth.
This means, your intention of your message needs to be parallel your efforts.
I’m going to give you a few thoughts about when you mean & intend to say or imply something so right, what happens to make it come across so wrong!
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How did my message come across so wrong?
When we intend to be serious, we become somber.
When we intend to be conscientious, we become over-scrupulous.
When we intend to be frank, we become rude.
When in our determination to be bold, we become abrasive.
When we intend to be watchful, we become & appear suspicious.
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All the good intentions we have, can literally blow up in our faces, if we are not aware.
You may know in your heart what you’re trying to do or say, but now you know why it doesn’t always work out the way you intended.
Remember, 3 people can hear what you have to say & all 3 of those people may have 3 entirely different interpretations of your message.
Volume of voice, tone of voice, body language, facial expression & your voice characteristics alone all contribute WITH your message.
Your own intentions & words, do NOT necessarily coincide!
Think back about that song & the music.
Are you playing / saying it correctly? Are you using the keys / notes / words to match the message? Are you on key with your body language?
If your music isn’t on key & all working together, you’ll never come across in way but flat!
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10% of conflicts are due to a difference of opinion, 90% are due to the wrong tone of your voice”…
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I do hope you have enjoyed this message today it has inspired you do stand up & make a difference in your own life. Please feel free to leave me a comment below to share how this has made you think about your own situation
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Pay close attention
For those of you asking for privacy regarding questions, further issues, you may email me at: linda@dailyadversitysupport.com
Hello Linda… I can not tell you how many times I have become really upset with someone simply because of the tone of their voice. The message an individual might be attempting to deliver needs to be thought about… carefully. The tone of voice is critical if you want to have someone be on the same page as you. I have a flash temper. Not a very good characteristic of my personality. A person that comes across as talking down to me will wish they hadn’t. I know the problem lies with me… I probably woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I don’t always take a 10 second pause before responding to an inappropriately delivered comment… at least inappropriately for me. I mean really… don’t people know who I am? Lol 🙂
John, the tone of voice has everything to do with the delivery of a message. An abrasive, rude or condescending tone to it will set most people off, then to put a negative body language with it, only ignites the message. I totally understand. When someone does that to me, I ASK them to repeat what they said (“excuse me, I didn’t catch that, what did you say?”) for a couple reasons: 1. It gives me time for the pause to answer instead of reacting, 2. It gives the other person a chance to restate the comment better, 3. It gives me a chance to”watch & “hear” that comment more openly, 4. To ensure I took the comment correctly or just misinterpreted it>
Now, if they repeat the comment in the same manner, then I know what I need to do & have had time to gather myself. Thank you John for sharing.
Hey Linda,
Love your info today!
I have a sort of monotone voice and at times was self-conscious about it…now I view it as a meditative voice…soothing for when I actually do meditations for people…
Then the other day I get a comment on a video I had posted…and the woman…who I didn’t even know who she was or where she came from…although I can guess it’s through my FB Boosting of posts…anyway…she said I had a sort of whimsical tone about me…
Now THAT made my day and continues to help me turn around any negative I may have carried about the “tone” of my voice!
Thank Again my friend…Namaste…
Well I’m not sure if that was as compliment by her or ? As long as you’re fine with it, is all that matters. Thank you Cate for sharing, I hope you continue to have wonderful days!
Hey Linda, I was just having a “discussion” with my 15 y/o son today about this very thing. I’m always picking him up on his tone towards me and other family members. He swears that he doesn’t mean to be rude (or whatever). It’s also something I need to watch as well, as I tend to say things in a very flat way, mostly when I’m tired.
Great post!
Sometimes, the 5 second rule: “Pause 5 seconds before you speak”, can be helpful. That way you have 5 seconds to not only think about the words, but about your tone & body language as well. One always needs to be alert when communicating with others. Thank you Kerrie for your thoughts.
Hi Linda! Great post, 90% was about the tone of voice and you are so right about the ‘intentions’ set, bold can sound rude, etc…bc your intention is often only known by you, so it would help to adjust tone and demeanor/body language and explain intent if necessary! Luv this and you, my friend XOX Zen
You’re so right Zen bold CAN sound rude, & so can abrasive. The old saying: “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it” is so relevant. Oh & body language, what a silent voice. Body language can many times tell you more than the words. Therefore, be sure they both match! Thank you Zen, I love your thoughts.