“I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO HELP MY PARENTS!”
First, ask yourself these questions: “I don’t know how to help my parents?” OR “I don’t want to help my parents?”
Sounds like a harsh question doesn’t it?
No, it’s not. In fact it’s reality. We think are parents will be around forever, but they aren’t.
Your parents, or elderly relatives, etc., are aging & do need you whether they admit it or not.
From medical professional’s point of view, the more you are involved in their care, the more we can do for them & stay as viable as possible.
If your parent(s) are gone, I’m soo sorry, Mine are gone too & I miss them.
However either you may aging relatives, or you know those around you who are aging. If that’s the case, keep reading, this will help you as well.
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HERE ARE SIMPLE WAYS ADULT CHILDREN CAN HELP YOUR AGING PARENT, OR RELATIVES
- Stimulate their social life: Encourage them to maintain old social relationships & to make new ones. This a time they need old friends around.
- Encourage reminiscing: Draw memories of the past & help them fit together the pieces of the experiences.
- Support usefulness: Ask them for advice, praise their hobbies, & encourage their giving service to other.
- Support “Letting Go”: Help them find constructive ways to dispose of possessions by discussing how thrift stores & mission programs can benefit from their contributions. Take the time to listen to them & cry with them when they have to give up their homes, their drivers licenses, or their leadership positions.
- Encourage spiritual growth: Help them find large-print Bibles, enriching TV & radio programs. Help them find transportation to attend church. Encourage them to join a prayer group/chain or a service group.
- Respect independence: For as long as possible, your parents need to make their own decisions, about where & how to live.
- Listen to them: Listen & ‘hear’ the accounts of their past disappointments, accomplishments & satisfaction, even if told repeatedly. Also listen to the accounts of their current worries, fears, joys, hopes & delights.
- Communicate often: Keep in touch by telephone, visits, & letters. Remember holidays, birthdays & anniversaries.
- Pray for them & with them: Their physical, mental, social & material well-being is interconnected with their spiritual health.
These are your parents (or relatives). They brought you the gift of life.
Ignoring them now is a huge disrespect to them, to your responsibility & to God.
Regardless of the relationship you’ve had with them, now is not the time to turn your back on them, especially if they are a bit confused, forgetful or constantly repeat things.
Remember, when they get to this point, they are trapped inside a body & they may not fully understand what’s happened to themselves.
They aren’t acting like this to irritate you, they’re scared, unable to understand what this strange world is & why their known surroundings are gone.
If you visit them out “obligation”, “duty” or “act irritated & preoccupied” while you’re with them, they will sense this & know you don’t want to be there!
NO ONE, wants to go through this, NO ONE want to be like that, NO ONE wants to be treated like they’re nobody.
Spend time with your parents when you can as an adult child.
They’re going through a process that has no instructions, no reasoning & they’re terrified.
Go & be their rock, after all, they were your rock growing up…
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“People don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, & a heart to understand them”….
See you tomorrow…
I do hope you have enjoyed this message today & it has inspired you do stand up & make a difference in your own life. Please feel free to leave me a comment below to share how this has made you think about your own situation.
BY THE WAY: Are you having challenges or struggling with things in you life, lost your job, out of money, recovery from injuries with bills coming in overwhelming you, grieving, down or depressed? I know what you’re going through, I’ve been there, it hurts, its terrifying & you have no clue where to turn.
I honestly have been through this myself. I was in a tragic accident last year & lost my job / income, my health & mobility. I was devastated, the bills never stopped coming in & I was drowning in debt. Sound somewhat familiar?
Let me share with you what I did that literally saved my life. I’ve been able to completely turn my l life around, get back up, become more successful than ever before & financially free. CLICK HERE for & pay close attention to this
For those of you who have been requesting privacy regarding questions & further issues, you may email me a: birdiegolf430@gmail.com
Linda – I really feel it is so important to make contact with your elderly parents each day at least. You have some really good tips here. I talk to my mother every day sometimes twice a day. It means a lot to her. I have never had a good relationship with my mother and sometimes I struggle but I put that aside because I know she needs me. So as an adult I have made amends so we can move forward. And I visit her once a month. I live 350 miles away so I would be down there more if I could and sometimes I am. Thanks for another great post!
Thank you Nancy. You’re so right by realizing the importance of frequent activity & good communication. I DOES mean a lot to them & so many don’t realize that. They also LOVE us asking their advice on things, it helps them feel want, respected & loved. When my parents were each alive, I had to pay attention to phone conversations, because they can easily cover up what’s really going on with a telephone. The first time I was shocked, but caight on fast. Thank you for sharing Nancy, your mother sounds so sweet, I’m glad you had her on that video with you so we could meet her.
Thought provoking article Linda. My parents are gone… both suffered with illnesses before passing. Did what I could when they were here. Now I’m the next in line… I can feel some changes in me especially mentally. Has me thinking… worried. I have no one to care for me. I know I can not rely on my daughter… she just isn’t that thoughtful toward us… her parents. My wife and I are divorced and living separate lives. I’m guessing my real WHY for building my online business is to be in the financial position to hire some people to be there for me. I don’t want to die alone. I’m grateful for the few Facebook friends I have. Hoping somehow I’ll have a few people out there that care about me.
John is totally understand where you’re coming from. My parents are also gone, I too am divorced & I too have no one to count on to care for me. However, we have to live for now John, we really can’t control what’s going to happen, even with the best of intentions or preparations, rarely does it ever work out as planned. So save your energy for now John, you are a good man, with a lot of friends who DO care about you. Each of them want to see you live for each day & not worry about the future, of which you have no control over. Thank you John for sharing your thoughts.
Great post — my parents are going through this with their parents. Well just the Mom’s…my Grandma’s. It is hard walking this journey, but your tips are wonderful and very helpful!
Your Mom is going through un-chartered territory. There’s no script or instructions sadly. Funny how we can have instructions on how to mend or put things together, put have so few directions on how to guide our elderly parents. There are services out there, however each are very costly & ridiculously vague, it ticks me off. I guess that’s why I spend extensive time with the families of a deceased family member, to at least get them in the right direction. Thank you Kristin. My best to your Mom.