“OF COURSE, I’M A GREAT FRIEND!”
Are you really?
OR, is that your interpretation. Hmmm…
Are you seeing clearly about the person you REALLY are??
Believe it or not, some people THINK they’re the greatest person as a friend, but actually come across to others as something very different.
Some think they have dozens of ‘friends’, whereas in reality, they have dozens of acquaintances & maybe one who puts up with them.
Of course there are many types of different friendly arrangements of people.
How about you? Are you a real friend? Do you know what that is, to be a good & real friend?
How would you RATE yourself as a friend, & before you answer, think first.
You may THINK you are a great type of friend, but the way you come across to others… may not be what you think.
I’m going to share with you a few thoughts, read them & see how you measure up.
However, the secret is this: you must read these with an open mind.
Don’t read these & think “of course I’m like that”, instead ask yourself: “am I like that, really”.
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HOW TO DETERMINE WHAT TYPE OF FRIEND YOU “REALLY” ARE TO OTHERS.
- Do you honestly, practice unsolicited acts of kindness?
- Can you enjoy a friends’ good fortune, whether in marriage, motherhood, or career, even if you aren’t on a parallel track?
- Are you loyal, & do you guard your friends’ secrets?
- Do you encourage other people to develop their strengths & graciously help them overcome weaknesses?
- Do you refuse to become the only nurturer in the relationship?
- Can you listen when a friend tells you that you’ve hurt them, or do you withdraw or get defensive?
- Are you a good listener, or do you claim more than your share of the airtime?
- Can you ask for & grant forgiveness, & mean it?
- Do you approach others with an attitude of acceptance & interest?
- Do you live an authentic life, based on your values & beliefs?
- Do you reach out to others rather than always expect that they will call or come to see you? Do you reciprocate?
- When you meet others, are you open to the possibility that they may become future allies, confidantes, best friends?
- Do you give & maintain 100% honesty with others, or do you with-hold some of the truth?
- Do you openly admit when you are wrong without having to be caught in the act first?
- Do you listen open minded when you are being corrected or critiqued?
- Do you give credit to the one who has helped you through something, or do you keep the credit for yourself?
- Do you feel equal to others, or do you feel superior to those around you?
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So, how do you rate as a friend?
You will only know if your read these & were 100% honest with your answers.
If you found you answered no to any of these thoughts, you have some work to do. You’re not coming across the way you should be, OR you’re not ‘listening’ to others.
If you’re not getting many calls from others, chances are you’re not the person YOU think you are. Most likely there’s something abrasive or self absorbing coming across to others.
Take an honest look at yourself, OR ask someone you admire for their honest opinion, & heed their advice.
“Change your thoughts, & you can change your world”….
See you tomorrow…
I do hope you have enjoyed this message today & it has inspired you do stand up & make a difference in your own life. Please feel free to leave me a comment below to share how this has made you think about your own situation.
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I honestly have been through this myself. I was in a tragic accident last year & lost my job / income, my health & mobility. I was devastated, the bills never stopped coming in & I was drowning in debt. Sound somewhat familiar?
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For those of you who have been requesting privacy regarding questions & further issues, you may email me a: birdiegolf430@gmail.com
Interesting questions, Linda.
And I do think that ‘we’re all just human’ personal perception and misperception will occur even when you try to answer these q’s…lol…
though they are a good starting point, I find that through observation and experience that all relationships at some point let us down (or we do the letting down) and in several of those categorical questions/areas, bc we are just humans trying to live life and we all have many variables occurring during our days…ex one day I may not be able to follow up when I said I would bc I’ve forgotten I have a booked day, apologize later, and expect that it was fine, and that other party you find out is extremely hurt by your lack of attention…so…
MY one and only measure is…and it doesn’t make me right, lol is this: do we both walk away, more often than not, feeling good…(barring some emergency where one party clearly needs more attention) and is the connection between us – overall – life enhancing to BOTH of us…
XO, Zen
Thank you for your insight Zen. You look at things from your professional status, which I appreciate since that’s the role you have everyday. Unfortunately, the average person forgets the overall thought process. I hope this brought some value.
Based on your questions LInda I am a good friend. Having said that my downfall is keeping in touch. My closest friends are scattered around Australia and I am not in touch as often as I would like.
For me what I love most is having quality time with someone and a real heart connection.
Thanks for a grat post Linda.
Yes you are Sue, you are a good friend. A real friend is someone you can lose contact with & still pick up where you left off, because your heart hasn’t changed. Thank you for you thoughts.
Linda – I LOVE this post. The questions are so through and well thought out. I score very well on these questions and a few I do need some work on. This would be a great topic for a group to discuss using those questions. Being in sales and marketing for a good portion of my career I have learned the benefits of admitting mistakes (even though traditional sales trainings say NEVER to admit fault…I don’t have that belief) and ever since I was a little girl I had the gift of listening. I sometimes have difficulty with criticism but I have not had much experience with people delivering it constructively. Thanks so much for your great post, Linda!
AS a young girl, you knew enough to know that listening is key, but the growth of life fed you some curve balls. I think everyone is some way has a short coming of hearing criticism because it can hurt, be embarassing or make us feel imperfect. However, too many people criticize others for faults that are really their own faults too, or because they just want to tear down or belittle someone else. We have to consider the source. One who gives good constructive criticism does it objectively positively & in private. Thanks for taking the time to read my post Nancy.
That really made me stop and think. I have friends that I don’t see as often as I would like. I always plan to make time and it gets taken away with something else. I know that the people in my life would be there without question. Friends don’t judge, they love unconditionally. You upset them, they tell you and you all get on with it. I love my friends if anything I should tell them that more often.
Rhonda, you’re so sweet, no wonder you have so many awesome friends, they’re all like you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, & don’t feel guilty, I’m betting they are thinking the very same thing about you.