“Stop Telling Me To Be Positive!” | How to handle others, when you’ve felt so bad & down yourself.

“STOP TELLING ME TO BE POSITIVE!”

 

 

 

 

 

Have you had those days or periods of time when absolutely nothing is going right!

 

 

Those you know are all trying to help & they’re encouraging you to “Just think positive.”

 

 

 

UGH!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, they’re right.

 

 

BUT, the issue causing your frustration just may be a little too fresh & raw at the moment.

 

 

So now is not a good time to hear that, & if you’re the one saying that, it’s a terrible time to encourage that.

 

 

 

 

Why do people do that when you’re furious, your so down, your so ______?

 

 

 

Those who want to help, share that  “Just think positive” phrase because that’s what they’ve been told in the past to do.  They don’t know what else to do or say, so they just tell you to think positive. 

 

 

Is it wrong, to tell someone to think positive, to help encourage them through a hard time?  Isn’t that what we’re suppose to do?

 

 

Well, yes & no, but your timing may really stink. 

 

 

 

 

Not all people, who have gone through a negative incident, are remotely qualified to counsel & advise others of what to do. 

Now just a minute & hang on.  Listen carefully here.  You’ll understand as you keep reading, what I’m saying.

 

 

If you experienced: a hardship in the past, have had negative encounters, have been psychologically affected.

You may NOT be the one to counsel anyone else on their problems, thoughts or issues. 

I’m going to explain to you why your best intentions to help, may cause more harm than good for someone else.

 

 

 

 

Now, I realize this is a touchy issue for some of you to hear, & if it is, then you are the one that may need to pay attention here. 

Why, because there are areas that you can help with.

 

 

 

 

I have literally known those who have been going through their own ‘hell’ to somehow manage themselves hour to hour, day to day, & actively still going through their own issues.

However, they turn around & begin to openly & actively solicit & counsel other people with whatever their issues are.

 

 

How?  They sometimes take the information they’ve been freshly given or read, & immediately turn it around to use it to ‘counsel’ others with.

 

 

Why?  Their theory is, they feel it’s helping them to work through their own issues by helping others.

 

 

 

 

Are these How & Why’s wrong?  Yes & No.  Keep reading to understand this.

 

 

 

 

For the ‘HOW’;  Their intent to help is in the right place, their information to share is good. 

However, neither was meant as a fix all for anyone’s issue.  Those reference talks or readings they received themselves, were meant for their own, individual issues.

 

 

For the ‘WHY’;  It’s wonderful to help others & to help yourself too. 

However, you must have your own issues resolved before you hang up your shingle & counsel others.  If you’re still going through any of your own “stuff”, you are far from being an expert & you’re not ready yet to guide others.

It takes time, a lot of time to heal those wounds that are still raw if you are currently feeling the affects from them yourself. 

It may be that you’re still going through after affects, because you’ve spent years pushing your issues down & trying to bury them.  At any rate, You aren’t ready to “help” others until you practice the help yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“So I was told the best way to get through my issues is to help others”

 

 

 

 

 

The BEST way you can help others is to:

• Refer a book that you found useful..
• Refer an audio tape of a useful story of reference.
• Refer them to a speaker that was of help to you.
• Refer them to a professional that has done a lot of counseling, one that has experience with counseling patients, or to the one that has helped you.
• Refer them to an author that talks on that subject.
• Refer a device or object that you or someone you know used for the same issue or problem, that was of help.
• Refer a particular store where they can find something they need.
• Refer an organization or membership of something for support for their issues.
• Refer a brochure or materials that will give them further information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The BEST way you can help yourself is to:

• Continue to practice the information that was given to you in confidence, for your own issues.
  
• Continue to read personal development books for yourself.
  
• Continue to listen to audio tapes for yourself.
  
• Continue to follow authors & speakers that give you the confidence affirmations you need.
• Just tell your story:   “this is what happened to me”……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO HANDLE OTHERS WHEN YOU’VE FELT SO BAD & DOWN YOURSELF

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How you can BEST help everyone & including yourself:

• By just telling “your story,” let’s others relate & see that they are not alone in their own issues.
• By just telling “your story,” let’s people identify & feel empowered that they were NOT alone in the pain, fear, sorrow, horrific experience.
• By just telling “your story,” gives others hope, that if you went through it, there is a light at the end of the tunnel of what they thought was only darkness.
• By just telling “your story,” let’s them know there can be a positive outcome of something they cannot see.
• By just telling “your story,” they can see it is worth trying to believe again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You have personally experienced information that is real, that’s raw, that’s amazing.  The BEST is, you survived it, you LIVED it.

 

 

 

 

So if you really want to help someone,  “just tell your own story.” 

Your own story is the most powerful, helpful, gracious thing you can do for someone else.  Just let them see that you got through it.

 

 

Listen to the words while you read your own story.  Realize that the person in that story, your story, is a survivor!

Listen to the details of hell that person went through.  Read how that story, your story, brought you to where you are today.

 

 

 

 

Watch how that story, your story alone, is helping others.

The response may be immediate, or they may be delayed, but the response to your readers WILL be moving.

 

 

 

 

If you’re currently feeling the after effects & / or continue to have the issues everyday, it’s okay, “just tell your own story”.

We are all, a work in progress.  We are all learning.  We are all recovering from something, somewhere, somehow, for whatever reason.

 

 

 

 

Stay away from counseling or advising others.

Stay away from getting involved in others recovery.

 

 

 

 

Just tell your story.   Period.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Take pride in how far you’ve come.  Have faith in how far you too, can go”…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

See you tomorrow…  

 

 

I do hope you have enjoyed this message today & it has inspired you do stand up & make a difference in your own life.  Please feel free to leave me a comment below to share how this has made you think about your own situation.

 

 

BY THE WAY: Are you having challenges or struggling with things in you life, lost your job, out of money, recovery from injuries with bills coming in overwhelming you, grieving, down or depressed?  I know what you’re going through, I’ve been there, it hurts, its terrifying & you have no clue where to turn.

I honestly have been through this myself.  I was in a tragic accident last year & lost my job / income, my health & mobility.  I was devastated, the bills never stopped coming in & I was drowning in debt.  Sound somewhat familiar?

Let me share with you what I did that literally saved my life.  I’ve been able to completely turn my l life around, get back up, become more successful than ever before & financially free.   CLICK HERE   for & pay close attention to this

 

For those of you who have been requesting privacy regarding questions & further issues, you may email me a:  birdiegolf430@gmail.com