Helping someone in need IS the right thing to do, and those with kind, caring hearts do this without thinking twice about it. They immediately rush to someones aid and most likely they are the first to arrive.
This caring act is the habit of a kind soul and God Bless you for this action. It takes a very special person to do this and not accept thanks you’s or even anything in return. It’s just part of your make up, so to speak, and you have to know that you are the hero’s, even if you don’t like being called that.
However, after spending a life time of this, there is something that suffers as a result of this good deed . No it’s really not your family, nor is it your work because all of them understand how giving and kind you are. What is truly suffering … is you.
There comes a time when you have to think about you first more than rushing to care for someone else. Trust me I know, this is a very difficult transition for you, but the guilt you put on yourself is not healthy.
Sitting back a bit when someone is hurting, alone, overwhelmed, broken or in pain, is very hard, but it is not abandonment as much as you think. When someone goes through a devatating incident or accident, they need time to process in their own way. Rushing to them with all the answers and guidance is not always the right thing to do, right away. They need time, not a fixer, not an enabler, not a controller, they need time, which allow them to strengthen.
Many times receiving all of the answers, the care, the saving, is overwhelming, smothering and can shut one down to only delay their recovery. It will also deny them the ability to find a way to become stronger by doing things for themselves.
Now I am not saying you should totally leave them alone, I am referring to giving them time, their family is with them. And if they do not have family, you know them well enough to know how their family hierarchy works.
DISCLAIMER: These thoughts are of course not a one size fit for everyone you know and you will have to heed this advise based on the specific issues at hand.
Think before you leap, do not feel guilty, take care of you too, and yes, you are equally important as well.
It’s not your job, to be everything to everyone … linda frame
